No love for Valentine's Day!!

There are only two holidays that you will find Americans preparing for long before they arrive and they are Christmas and Valentine's Day.  Ironically they are also the two most commercial holidays out there.  Just think about it, people often measure how much they are loved by the gifts they receive and if you don't believe me why don't you give the love of your life nothing this year I guarantee it will an unforgettable year for the both of you, lol.  

Well anywho back to the topic at hand -- Valentine's Day, the holiday strictly for lovers.  By now I guess you can tell that this year I am not a fan, I'm not a hater of the holiday... in fact I'd like to believe that I am a Valentine's Day enthusiast.  I love everything about today, from its bold red color, to its classy rose embellished bouquets, to the heart symbol plastered on everything from cards to undergarments, to its decadent sweets and love filled atmosphere.  I love what it stands for and its way of ridding the world and every couple known to man  of anger, hatred and discord for just one day.  

I sat in the nail salon watching woman after woman getting manicures and pedicures, saw women getting new hair-dos, outfits and undergarments.  I can't lie, I also had bought a purse some time ago, so sure that it would wow people on this day but it still sits in its original packaging.

So why is it that this year I am not a fan... take a guess... any minute now... have you figured it out yet... well I'll just tell you.  I am love free, that's right I am home alone, staring at my phone, and afraid to admit that it could possibly be all my fault. 

Deep Breath In --Exhale 

That's right I am home alone with no love of my own and it could very well be my fault.  I'm not ugly so that's definitely not the issue, I'm not without prospective suitors, I'm just too picky and that's that.  Any other day being too picky would seem like a good thing, it allows me to root out the losers, players, man-divas and whatever else I don't want in my life... but on days like this I just want to kick myself for being a picky chick.  

I know that right now I could've been on a date with this guy, let's call him DP.  It would have been a real date with someone that I know loves me and for whom I have a fondness (ok, I love him too), but noooo I had to be all confrontational and stuff and now I am home alone, with no man to phone, while everyone else is getting it on.  I don't think I'm totally wrong for dumping DP, he only wanted to hang at night, he never really called--always texting and we have a past.  In our past he lied about his age (found out he was younger than me), and other menial things, but then again he loved being with me and I with him.  I miss his smile, his hugs and kisses, his company.  

So from time to time I wonder if I made the wrong decision and actually turned down Mr.Right for a figment of my imagination.  Well enough crying over that spilled milk.  I've always had a valentine or at least somewhere to go but this year I am really feeling it and wondering if its all my fault.  Has my picky behavior rendered me loveless on my favorite day of love?  Have I shot too high in hoping to find that perfect man for me? or am I overreacting on this one day knowing that tomorrow will be better because today will be over.